My story is very involved. I will just keep it brief and tell you my older sister died in a motorcycle crash 2 months after her high school graduation. This day was also my 11th birthday. The world as I knew it changed drastically. My mother went C-R-A-Z-Y! Now that I have children I get it. My 11 year old self didn't get it.
Everyday I get up and struggle with depression. Some of it is genetic, I really try not to play that card-it is too easy to slip into my life sucks and nothing is going to make it better mentality.
This week my days have been better. I really wish I were not so emotional. However, this is the life I have....
I want to enjoy it. But I don't.
There is really no good reason.
Except my mind is not right.
Just wanted to put this out there so I can look back and see where I am.
Wow, so sorry for your loss!!
ReplyDeleteI totally get the depression thing. I mean, really. I do. It is genetic, and runs in my family, and I do try not to play that card. I've thought of getting medication, but I really don't want to. So since it's unregulated, sometimes I can get kinda down too.
Hang in there!
I am SO SORRY to hear about your loss at such a very young and vulnerable age and stage of your life.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are blogging about it and hopefully you will find peace, strength and encouragment.
You will be in prayers.
I look forward to getting to know you and thanks for stopping by my blog!
I hope you have a better day tomorrow.
:( Hugs..
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog yesterday! I like the realness of yours!!
ReplyDeleteI, too, struggle with the same thing. My dad died 2 weeks after I turned 16 and I have been traumatized ever since. I understand those emotions of knowing....'life is short so live it' but at the same time you cant because you are anxious or just down.
I am so sorry. How hard for you. You were so little to have lost your sister and to have to watch your mom go through that. How are both of you coping now? I feel sometimes time makes it harder rather than easier.
ReplyDeleteYou know i love you...big hugs and smooches. be there soon!!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't even know you really, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss. Although it was a long time ago, I'm sure the pain is still fresh and real. I can't imagine how hard that was for you at 11 and your mother. There are things that are "passed down" that we all deal with. I think just the fact that you recognize the issue and know there is a problem is a HUGE step. I'm thinking of you and saying a little prayer for you this morning. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear that you lost someone so close to you at such a young age!
ReplyDelete(((((((huge hugs)))))))
I never knew that about your sister. I'm so sorry. That's a lot at any age - let alone 11.
ReplyDeleteEmotional people are the best kind... they rarely fake it. HA! You're an "overcomer" though, Lynn... you've done many things a lot of people never would have been strong enough to even try. *Hugs* to you.
I hooked up with the EMME blog today and finally posted. I hope to be keeping up better in blogland these days. If Tracy comes to town some time, I'd love to see you both and have lunch or something... :-)