Monday, October 19, 2009

Boys will be boys.....

Or will some boys just be bullies??

It is no secret that I am the mother of girls.

Life with girls is different than with boys.

Although I guess I wouldn't know since I have only known life as a mother to girls.

Last weekend my older daughter had some friends, girls and guys, over hanging out. This has turned into a regular weekend occurrence at our house and I LOVE it! A couple of weeks ago when the kids were over one of the neighbor boys wandered over. He is in 7th grade (the age of my younger daughter) the other kids are in 9th. After about an hour the girls came to tell me there was a fight. Turns out an older boy accidentally tripped over younger boys feet and thought he had tripped him intentionally. The older boy punched the younger in the face a couple of times and had to be stopped. There is no difference in size or strength really. But the younger boy had no idea why the older was treating him this way.

The younger boys mom (neighbor) called and wanted the story. I told her what the girls had told me. I decided not to tell the older boys mother. Several of my friends think I should have called the mother so she knows what her son did. I think boys will be boys and life would be harder on the younger boy if someone told on the older boy. Older boy was wrong to do this and will not be welcome at my house again. I feel that he should have apologized to the younger boy and to us, his hosts.

His mother has always told me to let her know if anything happens she needs to know about. My husband is telling me to let it go. Don't talk to any other adults about it. Let them gossip between themselves if they want to, just don't get involved. Boys will be boys and they need to learn to work it out themselves.

All mothers say they want to know, I don't think they mean it. Nobody want to hear their kid is a bully.

What do you think? How should I have handled this situation?


  1. Wow seems older boy has a bit of a temper issue if he was throwing punches over an obvious misunderstanding.

    I would handle it just as you had...perhaps if the mother lived closer or I had encounters with her from time to time I may mention it...but otherwise I think it will just cause too many waves. I too wouldn't allow someone with violent tendancies like that back into my house. Boys will be boys...yes I agree...but violence is not the answer!

  2. I don't know... could the older kid have been embarrased and just dealt with it badly? I agree w/Mel - it makes me nervous when they start getting physical. Especially older ones picking on younger ones. If I was his mom, I would want to know... but that's just me.

    I see what you mean about not wanting to "start anything" especially if you don't know her well. And it could make it worse for the younger kid too. Oh, teenagers! Something tells me my Pre-K worries are nothing! HA!